Whoa! The O----, 10 letters was such an interesting quirk, I wondered why you did it that way. The reveal at the end was very clever. What a mind bender! This is a great story!
Thank you! For the first time in my life, I knew the ending and started just ... writing. It surprised me when Walter got on the bus that he couldn't read, and it ended up working perfectly. :D
As a none native English speaker I had to look up the O word for what I expected it to be. Thought without that word I still suspected what was going on. To me the sentence: “Today was an important one” made this story. It places an expectation and kept me reading. ‘What is so important? When will it happen?’ This also “masked” what was really going on for me. This was a fun, puzzling and in a way confronting piece. Well done!
It was confronting in the sense that life goes on and seeing that from Walters perspective added to that feeling. Because I didn’t realise Walter had passed until the end, the story seemed to describe someone that was “ignored”. This kinda invoked the feeling best described by the word “Sonder” from the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.
YES. That's a good word for it. And I like to think that Jayden missed him a bit and wondered where he was, but he's likely the only one, at least that we see. RIP Walter </3
This might be bad advice, so ignore me, but I would let the story be as long as it wants to be. Once edited and proofread, definitely don't force word count upwards. Culling words is a maybe but I would not recommend forcing length on a story. I did this once and ruined it.
Whoa! The O----, 10 letters was such an interesting quirk, I wondered why you did it that way. The reveal at the end was very clever. What a mind bender! This is a great story!
Thank you! For the first time in my life, I knew the ending and started just ... writing. It surprised me when Walter got on the bus that he couldn't read, and it ended up working perfectly. :D
As a none native English speaker I had to look up the O word for what I expected it to be. Thought without that word I still suspected what was going on. To me the sentence: “Today was an important one” made this story. It places an expectation and kept me reading. ‘What is so important? When will it happen?’ This also “masked” what was really going on for me. This was a fun, puzzling and in a way confronting piece. Well done!
I appreciate the thoughtful read! The "confronting" isn't what I expected ... though I myself wonder if I'd notice Walter, late or not. Thank you!
It was confronting in the sense that life goes on and seeing that from Walters perspective added to that feeling. Because I didn’t realise Walter had passed until the end, the story seemed to describe someone that was “ignored”. This kinda invoked the feeling best described by the word “Sonder” from the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.
YES. That's a good word for it. And I like to think that Jayden missed him a bit and wondered where he was, but he's likely the only one, at least that we see. RIP Walter </3
Great story! I also love that the character surprised you as you wrote his tale. Very clever Maximilian..another cracking short!
Thank you! I'm hoping as I improve I'll actually be able to sustain a story for a proper full-length short story length! :)
This might be bad advice, so ignore me, but I would let the story be as long as it wants to be. Once edited and proofread, definitely don't force word count upwards. Culling words is a maybe but I would not recommend forcing length on a story. I did this once and ruined it.
Oh I’m of a similar mind, don’t worry! But I do want to work on writing longer stories at some point here. Happens when it happens!
Ah got ya. You’ll hit on a story that just keeps going. Even saying or writing you want it to happen, will make it so. :)